Turning 34

I’m turning 34 tomorrow (9th of May). 30 f**kin’ 4! 3 and four are consecutive numbers, like a progressive inflation about to happen. Its official, I’m getting older! What ever happened to the thrill of birthdays to come? That was probably before I hit double digits (i.e. before I turned 10!).

But they say age is just a number, and I definitely don’t feel ‘old’. Given advances in technology, 30’s can no longer be considered ‘middle aged’. We have a whole heap of centurions popping up, and that would mean ‘middle age’ only hits us in our 50’s (assuming we manage to live that long).

To commence my 34^th year here on earth, I contemplated on all the things I should be grateful for and came up with a list (appropriately 34 bullet points long):

1)      I am a far more confident person than I was a decade ago. I still have moments of self-doubt, but overall I am happy being me. I read a clever line somewhere once and it went something like this: “When you fall in love with yourself, you are guaranteed a love affair that lasts a lifetime.” I choose to be my own ‘happy ending’.

2)      Another self-booster is a line from Eleanor Roosevelt; “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. You can’t please everybody, and you can’t expect everybody to love you. I’ve come to terms with this fact. If you don’t love me you probably just don’t know me well enough, or you’re just jealous! J

3)      Allah loves me! I am not a devout Muslim. I am slack with my prayers and by this age I would have hoped to have more knowledge on my religion, but the Almighty has the biggest heart and has been overly kind to me. I have seen miracles when I’ve least expected them. You find wisdom in the strangest of places. I recently met a lovely salesman at a Kashmiri shawl store, and he shared his philosophy of life with me: if you are grateful, your life will be abundant. Sometimes we question why a not-so-grateful person has it all, but do they have inner peace? Life is only temporary, and God keeps giving the ones he loves a chance at gratefulness. Be happy with what you have and you will realize you have more than you could possibly ask for.

4)      This is not to say I am totally grateful. I try to be, but I crib. My hubby would say I crib all the time! I am grateful for having a patient hubby who listens to me moan and groan, and I’m grateful for his whacky humor that distracts me from the darker side of things.

5)      Quirk Box, one of my fave fashion brands, has a new selection called “Stuck With Stupid” which sums up the story of our lives. We all have this one annoying person in our life who drives us nuts but who we love to bits and would be totally lost without. I have my hubby!

6)      I have firsthand experience in the beauty of motherhood. I have been a part of God’s miracle in bringing a beautiful little girl into this world. She will carry on my genes when I’m gone.

7)      I am taken more seriously now. For some, they have no choice given the corporate hierarchy. But the big doe eyes I look forward to looking up at me every day belong to my little daughter. I am her role model, so I have to strive at being a better me.

8)      It gets harder making close friends as you get older. I treasure my friendships more now, especially the ones that have survived the tests of time. I have friends from when I was a toddler, a handful from high-school and university, and a few ex-colleagues who turned into friends. I also have a close-knit family who are there to back me up if the going gets rough, they are my pillars of strength. We are all spread across the globe but are in touch often. God bless the miracles of technology!

9)      As we grow older, the age gap diminishes. I am far older than my siblings, but they seem to have grown into adults when I wasn’t looking and we have more in common than I ever cared to realize. I love my siblings, and am thankful we can be friends.

10)   High-school is a scary place to be if you’re not one of the cool kids. I wasn’t Miss Popularity, but rather the sidekick that tagged along. It’s interesting to see where the people you grew up with end up. Not all the cool kids are cool anymore, and many geeks have morphed from ugly ducklings into swans. I think I’ve been a bit of a surprise for people who knew me in my teens. I get posts on Facebook all the time on how much better I’m looking (especially stick people who have bloated beyond recognition and envy me staying me)!

11)   I am thinner than I was in high-school, a whole 10 kilos or so! Yes I was a tubby teen.

12)   I’m still not a stick person, and don’t envision I ever will be but as Bridget Jones would say, I love my wiggly bits! A real woman has curves, and I’m all woman.

13)   I believe in karma. Good things really do happen to good people. I have friends who have kept this faith and are in a happy place now. I am so happy for them.

14)   I have more financial freedom than I did in my twenties. I am a working mum and am proud I can provide for my child.

15)   I make enough to take care of my own retail therapy. A girl needs to shop now and then, and I feel all grown up and responsible knowing I can fulfill my own needs and also do the maths on saving up.
 

16)   I have savings. I have my hubby to thank for this. He is scrupulous with his finances, and it’s rubbed off a little on me. I remember when I first started working, I had no control on my spending whatsoever, and my ultimate low was when I had to borrow money from my dad for fuel one day. The next day I decided to start walking to work instead. Nowadays I never have an empty tank.

17)   I have never been a fashion victim, but rather a guinea pig to my own fashion sensibilities, always striving to be just a little different. Over time I’ve had many people who take something from my sense of style. It used to annoy me at times, but duplicating really can be the sincerest form of flattery.

18)   I have maintained my quirkiness. My hubby is aghast at my current craze for neon green nails with glitter. He reckons it looks totally unprofessional and I could lose my job for it. I think otherwise. Incidentally, I went for my first interview here in the UAE with bright pink talons featuring a dainty floral print. Many months later, my then-boss said she knew I had a spark when she saw my nails! I am confident enough to keep my quirkiness alive. I’ve sported my yellow jeans many times over now!

19) I’ve finally invested some me-time and got my hair streaked. I love the look and plan to keep it updated.

20) I've overcome a few vices I had from five years ago. Cheesecake tops the list!

21)   Recently I got the biggest compliment in the most unexpected of places. I went to pick up my daughter from daycare and this lady came up to me saying she was waiting to meet me as her 7 year-old has been talking about this lady who she wants to grow up to be. That would be me. How sweet is that! I don’t think the 7 year-old me would have wanted to continue being me if I had a choice.

22)   Growing up, I’ve never been completely happy with my looks. Getting chosen for a catwalk and being featured in a glossy woman’s magazine has really boosted my ego. I also like how people quiz me on my background. I seem to have a face that can be placed with quite a few nationalities. I am a citizen of the world.

23)   I like to think of my features as a collage of my heritage. I share features with my grandmother and mother, two of the strongest and most beautiful women I know.

24)   I must have great genes as all my grandparents have lived past their mid-eighties. My maternal grandmother is still a tough cookie in her nineties. When it comes to genetics, I have no excuses on my health. If I put in the right kind of food and do the right amount of exercise, I know I’ll be fine.

25)   My daughter met my grandmother last year. We took a photo of me, my child, my aunt and my grandmother. How many people have a photo spanning four generations?

26)   Every family has a black sheep, and in mine it’s me. My parents were always disdainful on how I’d turn out. My siblings were both smart cookies, I was a bit of a rebel and lazy with the books. It still amazes me on how I managed to score a Masters degree! My mother once said she thinks I’ve been incredibly lucky. I sure have, I feel blessed.

27)   I love my profession. There are days I want to pull all my hair out with all the stress, but the field of marketing allows me to be creative and also keeps the wordsmith in me alive.

28)   I’ve always enjoyed writing, and thought I’d be a published writer by this age. Although I am yet to accomplish this in the conventional sense, my words get published in advertising material all the time (think print ads, catalogues, even shopping bags!). And typing on this blog must count too!

29)   My cooking skills are getting better. My hubby, my biggest critic, says so.

30)   In my lifespan I’ve been up close and personal with totally different cultures, and not just through the lens of a tourist. I’ve had friends from different cultures, lived in vastly different cultural set-ups and hope my adventures keep broadening.

31)   I seem to have the ability to blend in with vastly different people and places. I’d like to think I’m culturally sensitized.

32)   You are reading this blog! I am ever so grateful to have you here. We are strangers yet we share thoughts on this digital platform. Blogging is a new adventure for me and I’m enjoying every bit of it.

33)   Life is too short, and youth is even shorter. I am glad I’ve got most of my adrenalin rushes out of my system in my twenties. I’ve braved many an adventure sport, and look forward to new challenges.

34)   I am 34! I have survived living past 33. Not everyone is this lucky. I have a colorful past to look back upon, and an unknown future to look forward to. Let the games begin!

Happy Birthday to Me, Love Me!

-          Big Sis.