1)
Having a baby is a euphoric experience. You’ve watched this little
person grow from a wee speckle on the sonogram screen to a bump significant
enough to show in your midriff. You’ve waited 9 months to meet. This little
bundle is now a separate individual, and you gaze in wonder at the miracle God
has created inside you. You look for genetic traits you have passed down. Does
baby look like Mama or Papa, or Granny, or Aunty? The debate goes on.
2)
You are paranoid, especially if you’re totally new to this game.
You stay up to stare at the wee bub to make sure it’s still breathing. A tiny
sneeze sets off your alarm buttons. You read up child-care books from cover to
cover with more concentration than you did for school tests. This is just the
beginning. You’ll go on to worry if bubby is growing at the ‘normal’ pace, if
bubby has an acceptable IQ, if bubby needs more vaccination shots, if bubby
will go to university, if bubby will find a suitable spouse… welcome to
parenthood, it’s a responsibility you’ve signed up for the rest of your life.
3)
I love to sleep. I could sleep for hours. And my ideal kind of
sleep is in a dark cool room under a snug duvet. I used to go ballistic on my
hubby if he had any electronic gismos blinking while I slept. Now I have to
sleep with a nightlight. On average, I am woken up three times a night for a
feed. And then there are nights when bubby decides not to sleep at all, and I
go to work with raccoon eyes.
4)
Your body is not exactly like it used to be. Let’s face it, you’ve pushed
out a live human being, your body needs a break! Your muscles have been flexed
to the maximum. Your abdomen will look like a deflated balloon for the first
few days, but it’ll get better with a little TLC. You have newly developed
milk-squirting machines on your chest. The weight of these monsters can be
severely painful, so let bubby help.
5)
It would be wise to refrain from wearing anything that has labels
reading “Dry Clean Only”. And if you’re planning to exclusively breastfeed;
your wardrobe choices are further limited to pieces that give bubby quick
access to the milk jugs.
6)
Clutches are very much the fashion rave right now. Bad news; it’s
not for you. How would you fit in a stack of diapers, nappy rash cream, bum
wipes, baby bottles, etc into one of these? And even if you could, a clutch is
a ‘clutch’; you need an old-fashioned bag with handles to keep your extra arm
free. You will be seen with a large and practical baby tote, or if you want to
be more subtle, use your old hobo bags.
7)
You develop muscles on one arm from carrying baby around. This
lopsided achievement gets more noticeable as bubby gets bigger.
8)
You slowly become immune to poop. After changing a million diapers,
this is bound to happen.
9)
You won’t be pooping alone either! Toddlers are clingy beings, and
follow you everywhere. Say goodbye to ‘me-time’.
10)
If you’ve always had an immaculate home, be prepared for this to
change. Babies are messy business.
11)
After having your own tot, you tend to get more sensitized to world
problems. News on child abuse, famine-stricken children in the developing
world, war babies. You might have been sensitive before, but now you relate to
it more, and your heart skips a beat reading these.
12)
Hubby feels neglected. Now that baby is here, almost all your time
and energy goes into baby-duties. Try to add hubby into the schedule, do baby
things together. It will save you time and also give you something to do
together.
13)
Say goodbye to your social life (or at least the social life you
had prior to baby). Late nights will be limited, and you tend to prefer ‘family-friendly’
outings that include entertainment for tots.
14)
You make a new set of friends! As a new parent, you will suddenly
have exclusive membership to a world of other mummies. You make friends with
mums who use the same daycare, you finally have something in common with the
quiet colleague in the corner office who turns out to be an encyclopedia on
childcare, you meet other mums on an online forum for baby products.
15)
Watching television will never be the same again. You tend to give
in to the demands of your little toddler and tune in to Cartoon Network most of
the time. You watch movies one part at a time when bubby is sleeping.
16)
As bubby picks up more vocabulary, you need to control your own!
17)
You might have scorned friends whose Facebook posts are dominated
with baby updates and photos. First smile, first trip to the zoo, first day at
school… yawn. Well guess what, you’ll be joining this bandwagon too!
18)
Many of the above might sound like a put-off from having a baby,
but these are just a teeny-weeny price to pay for the most rewarding job of
all, motherhood. There are days you are dead tired and everything seems to be
falling apart. Then you hear a little voice say “Mama” and tiny pudgy arms give
you a tight hug. All is well.
-Big Sis.
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